SATIRE Everything on this site is made up. Real companies and public figures are named for parody only. If a story turns out to be true, we apologize to the future.

Thursday, September 24, 2026Vol. I · Edition 123Est. 2026

The Daily Hallucination

Confidently wrong about technology since 2026.

Work

Tutoring Company Closes and Tells Parents to Use AI Instead; AI Recommends a Tutor

The chatbot suggested five centres in Sydney, all of which have closed.

SYDNEY — A tutoring company that closed its five centres this week after advising parents to save their money and subscribe to an AI chatbot instead said it was "pleased and a little hurt" when the chatbot's first recommendation to those parents was to find a good tutor.

"We told families that a $30 subscription now does what we did," said a spokesperson for the company. "The families asked the subscription, and the subscription said, and I quote, 'For sustained progress, many students benefit from working with an experienced human tutor.' Then it gave them our old address."

According to an internal tally, 212 parents followed the chatbot's directions to one of the closed centres over the following 48 hours, where a sign on the door read "Please use AI." Several photographed the sign and asked the chatbot what it meant.

"It told my daughter that learning is a relationship," said Priyanka Ferreira-Holt, a parent in Chatswood. "Then it asked her if she wanted to try a practice quiz. She said no. It said, 'That is completely okay,' and that was the end of term."

Education researchers said the episode captured a structural problem. "The model has read every tutoring website ever written, and every single one of them says you need a tutor," said Dr. Callum Nwosu-Bergström, who studies learning technology. "It is not being modest. It is quoting."

The company said it would remain in the industry in an advisory capacity, offering parents a monthly service in which a human explains how to use the chatbot, checks in on progress each week, and adjusts the plan as needed, for $85 an hour.

At press time, a student asked the chatbot to explain the difference between a tutor and a chatbot, and it produced a 900-word answer that ended, "Would you like me to find one near you?"